A sublime week of sport on ITV last week, with Bryony Frost and the Willie Mullins Gold Cup followed on Saturday by perhaps the greatest Six Nations match ever. And this week, the ridiculous, as Neil Ruddock splits his enormous shorts in football training.
Harry’s Heroes: The Full English asks the question that was on the nation’s lips, and perhaps on its hips as well: what would happen if you put Harry Redknapp in charge of a collection of much-loved retired footballers and tried to get them to lose a bit of weight by gingerly stepping onto the football pitch for the first time in years?
It’s a heavyweight cast: there’s John Barnes, who has a knee injury and, on the evidence of this two-part programme, a bucket of KFC permanently welded into his hand.
Here’s Matt Le Tissier, captured having an intimate moment with an ice-cream the size of a traffic cone. Paul Merson, who has in his day wrestled with cocaine, gambling, alcohol, and his famously obscure PhD in the philosophy and ethics of ancient Assyria, is unsurprisingly also partial to a pie or three.
The aforementioned Razor Ruddock is the big daddy of the lot: he’s currently tipping the scales at 23 and a half stone, making the 14 stone that was his early playing weight look positively ethereal.