No question at all as to this week’s sporting highlight on television. May I present Knight Fight, which answers the question that was on everybody’s lips: what if they did mixed martial arts, only with medieval armour and swords and maces and stuff?
We have our answer. They have done, and it is tremendous.
The series starts tomorrow on a channel called History, which used to be the History Channel in the days when people could be expected to sit through a, like, well boring informative documentary about the Corn Laws rather than a large man taking an enormous chopper to the face. Whatever, nerds. We won, you lost, get over it.
Thus, some burly gentlemen from an organisation called the Armored Combat League – not a fascist paramilitary cell despite what the name might suggest – are paired off each week in full plate mail garb, put in a ring and encouraged to have at it. This they are only too pleased to do.
The traditional televisual exhortation “These are trained professionals, please do not try this at home” could have been invented for this, and I must confess to wincing regularly. And remaining thankful that whenever the next global war comes, it will all be over rather more quickly than being hacked to death with a blunted war hammer by a former pro-wrestler.